


human

by thisisgermy



Series: huuh whaaaaat [2]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Self Aware AI
Genre: Dialog heavy, Friendship, Gen, Graphic Description, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Lazy story, Limb loss, Major Character Injury, Mention of blood, Spoilers, an add on/alternate bit of the beginning in act 3 part 2, panic attack (minor), stutters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:55:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24110920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisgermy/pseuds/thisisgermy
Summary: gordon is human. tommy breaks code, however briefly, and responds.
Relationships: Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman
Series: huuh whaaaaat [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739653
Comments: 19
Kudos: 196





	human

**Author's Note:**

> started: 10/5/2020  
> okay so for starters: holy fucking shit. i am FLOORED (and i mean that in the best possible way) with the amount of attention the last hlvrai story got. like holy shit. i cant thank yall enough for all the kind words and kudos', and i honestly dont know how to express that without keysmashing the Fuck out of the keyboard. just, thank you so much. it means a lot. i honestly dont know how im gonna thank everyone without being a keysmashing mess because my social skill is -20 but it really really does mean a lot to me. thanks.  
> so yeah, the usual - blood, swears, and italics. pog.

'HEY! T-TOMMY! TOMMY UP HERE-'

'huh?' tommy swivelled around until he spotted gordon hanging out of a pipe above him. 'oh, hello dr freeman-'

'ARE YOU HERE TO FUCKING KILL ME- ARE YOU HERE TO FINISH ME OFF-' wow, his hand really was just fucking _gone_ , huh. he'd thought that had been some fucked up hallucination, but no, his hand really wasn't there anymore. and double wow; he seemed to be losing a _lot_ of blood. it was just. pouring out of the stump. already, a weak waterfall of red was dripping out of the pipe, in such a short amount of time. 

that wasn't. ideal.

'... wh-what? ... no, they tricked me.' gordon twisted his face at that, seeming to think things through even with his fresh surgery still profusely bleeding. tommy watched, fascinated and horrified, as gordon tumbled out of the pipe, landing with a harsh _clang_ next to him. he almost stumbled to his knees, but somehow stayed upright. blood spurted out of the stump the second he landed, splattering a thin line a foot in front of him, and the action was enough to make gordon scream in complete ruin.

'ARGUGHHHH MY FUCKING _ARRRRRM_ '

tommy cringed away from gordon, not from disgust, but from shock. he sounded so. human. so _real_. and now that gordon was closer, tommy could see how badly he'd been roughed up, with two black eyes and tear treks marking his slashed cheeks. it was a horrible scene that made something within tommy _click_.

'w-what-what do you mean, t-they tricked you,' gordon rasped out in-between wheezes, his clutch snapped tight around the stump in the hopes it would help. blood ran rivers from the messy hole, marking the orange HEV suit a deep crimson, a macabre trail of bread crumbs left in his wake. if tommy peered hard enough at the wound, he'd be able to spot small, thin strips of flesh flaying around it. a chipped, just barely viewable piece of bone poked out the middle.

whoever had jumped him had really done a number; gordon was quickly taking on the appearance of a corpse, and if they didn't tend to his wound, he'd soon become one. gordon glanced from his stump to tommy, but he wasn't all there, eyes glassy and far away even behind a cracked pair of glasses. he was pale, sweaty, sickly. it was freaking tommy out more than he'd like to admit. gordon didn't look at him long - he was back to staring at his stump with half lids. it was obvious that he Wasn't Doing Very Well(tm).

gordon's attack spoke of an intense passion of hatred, one that neither man could really understand the intent behind. but their hatred had left gordon suffering - they hadn't even had the dignity to finish him off. they'd left him alone to die, thinking him incapable of getting back up. it made tommy sick.

it was those observations that further broke tommy from his coding.

'... they ... they-they took my- my-my ... i ... i- ... mr-mr freeman, you're bleeding pretty bad.' he said instead. 'you-you-you should get that looked at, i- it's not good to lose that much blood.'

gordon scowled at his stump, then, as if taking notice of it for the first time since the incident. he twisted it left to right and winced with a drawn out hiss. he continued to watch, uninterested, as more blood flowed over the top and down to his elbow. the over-detailed gore was straight out of an 80's horror flick.

'yer think so?' tommy ringed his hands together, shifting from foot to foot in a nervous tick at the weak rise in his voice. at the anger and hurt clearly punctuating it. 'yer really _think so_ , tommy? please, by _all_ means, di-direct me to the nearest medical station, bec-because i hadn't _noticed this before_ -' he viciously shook the limb at tommy despite how much it hurt to, causing blood to fly everywhere, and tommy raised his hands in both solace and surrender.

'mr-mr freeman-'

'PLEASE, tommy, since you're so FUCKING inclined to point out that i'm losing my _FUCKING_ _GOD DAMN_ ** _BLOOD_** -' gordon cut himself off with a gasp and closed his eyes, his hand flying to latch back on to the stump, and the room regained its gentle ambience of active machinery. he inhaled a deep breath, held it, and sighed, and tommy was too stunned in silence to utter a single word back. 'i'm. i-i'm sorry, i didn't- i didn't mean to shout at you, i'm just-'

'... it's okay, mr freeman, it-it must be hard losing a hand-'

' _YEAH_!!! yeah, it fucking _IS_!!! holy SHIT this hurts so fucking _BAD_!!! it's fucking _KILLING **ME**_ -' his breath came out in stutters, so life-like it made tommy squirm. realisation seemed to hit gordon in that moment, his face flying through several expressions before settling on "oh wait. oh fucking _wait_ ". 'my ... my hand is _gone_ , tommy. ... they-they fucking cut my _hand_ off, what the _fuck_ \- what-what the _fuck_ am i gonna do now?? i can't shoot with my left, how am i- and-and i've lost so much blood- i-i feel dizzy, and i, i-i can't live lik-like this, how am i-i gonna live with this, i can't, i, i can't, i can't-'

'you should sit down mr freeman-'

'th-that sounds-sounds, yeah-'

he fell to the floor in a mindless heap. he curled into himself, keeping his stump close to his chest, leaving a dark mark on the suits symbol. tommy sat next to him, and again, his words left his chest when gordon started to openly sob. it was loud, it was wet and snotty, it was broken and unrestricted, and tommy had zero clue on what to do or say. gordon began to rock back and forth without shame, growing progressively louder in his wails until his voice echoed around the room in a choir of sadness.

tommy decided to do something when it became obvious gordon wasn't going to calm down by himself any time soon. anything to make him stop doing those noises.

he scooted over to gordon, sitting close by his shoulder. 'gordon?' he called out, speaking over his heart retching cries. gordon was unresponsive, which prompted tommy to place his hand on his shoulder; gently as not to startle the man, but firm enough to let him know he was still there. gordon choked on a yelp at the touch, his body straightening up in a jiffy, head whipping up to face tommy. his stump followed his stiff movements, raised as if it was holding a gun. he pointed it at tommy in threat, but all it did was force more blood to flow.

he glared through tommy with blind feral-ness, glassy eyes blown wide, though he didn't crawl away like tommy expected. in fact, it looked like gordon was _accepting_ his fate; like he was _waiting_ for tommy to pull a gun and shoot him in the head. to finish him off and leave. and that made tommy feel _really_ fucking sad.

'... i'm here, gordon. and i'm not gonna hurt you.' gordon just looked at him, and he kept crying, and his entire body shook with the force of it. he kept staring even as his cries of misery turned into howls of agony. 

'wh-why do they hate me,' his voice cracked and wobbled, both exhausted and over stimulated. 'wh-why do they hate me enough to cut my fucking _arm_ off, i-i-i didn't even _do_ anything to them, i di-didn't give them any fuc-fucking _reason_ , i-i just- i just wan-wanted to do my job, i- i just want t-to go _home_ , man, i'm-i'm _sorry_ , i didn't-'

gordon stilled when tommy lurched forward and enveloped him into a hug, practically gathering gordon into his lap. he whimpered, and tommy could feel it - could feel that brokenness, that hopelessness, that terror, all swirling around inside gordon's soul, freely spilling out. he still had no clue on what he was doing, just hoping that his actions and presence were enough of a wall for gordon to feel safe leaning on.

'tommy-' he sounded on the verge of asphyxiation. a quaky arm - the in tact one - wrapped around tommy, the hand bundling into a tight fist at tommy's back, the stump hung limp by their sides. his body quivered with every heave of his chest, his heat beating a mile a minute, and tommy held back just as tightly, just as humanly.

'don't-don't worry, mr freeman, we'll both get outta this! i-i don't know what we can do about your arm, but we'll get out of black mesa! we _have_ to! and-and then, you can meet sunkist if you wanna, and he'll give you a big hug too, and then we can all go home and pretend like none of this ever happened! ... or we-we could get _therapy_! _and_ bey-blades! it's all up to code, mr freeman, like an iceberg that forms in the arctic on a cold summer evening!' 

gordon panted against tommy, soaking in his warmth and comfort and solidness like a greedy cat. very slowly, he felt himself fall back to earth, the haze within his mind backing off enough for him to gain control. he felt tommy rub circles against his back, weak but _there_ , enough pressure to know that he was being earnest in his actions. pain greeted him first, followed by exhaustion, yet his cling around tommy remained sturdy. he wasn't exactly dead, but he wasn't exactly living, either, instead stuck between a limbo of simple, discomforting existence.

'it's gonna be okay, gordon.' he sounded so sure of himself. so confident, despite all that had happened. he didn't believe tommy, not by a long shot, but he supposed it was the thought that counted. and in that moment, it was enough reassurance for gordon to not completely lose his mind. 

they stayed like that for a while longer, their silence filled with gentle sobs and sniffles and ticking metal. tommy continued to rub soft circles on gordon's back, and gordon rested in tommy's offered space, regaining his energy. blood continued to leak out of his hole, staining a patch into tommy's lab-coat and leaving a small puddle on the floor, but neither seemed to take much notice.

and it was nice, to simply be. even if it was to forget where he was. what had gone down. that he didn't have a hand anymore. which was, y'know, a difficult thing to do, considering the sheer amount of pain, but somehow, he managed to.

he managed to.

'............. okay.' gordon said, finally letting go of tommy's lab-coat in an open palmed pat. the arm lingered, hesitant. tommy didn't seem to want to move, either. '... okay. i. i think i'm okay now. ... mentally, not physically. ... fuck, i'm a fucking fucked up mess, alright.' he wiped his face behind tommy's back before pulling away, grimacing with every bit of movement, and tommy reluctantly followed suit. '... thank you. ... f-for that. i'm, sorry i broke down that bad.' tommy smiled at him as he bounced to his feet and brushed himself off. he held out a hand for gordon to take, and gordon accepted it with a weak grin. with a grunt, gordon was hefted back to his shaky legs. they waited until they were sure gordon wouldn't topple back over before letting go of each others hand.

'it's no problem, mr freeman! i'm just glad you're feeling better now!'

'yeah, i'm g-glad you're okay too, bud. ... you _are_ okay right?'

'yeah, i'm fine!'

'o-okay, good.'

the throb in his entire arm was unbearable, his mind was buzzing with too loud activity, and all of his atoms were on-fire. it was enough spite and anger to power gordon forward. he wanted to make benrey and bubby feel like this, too, even if it fucking killed him. he wanted them to _pay_.

'so uh, you said th-they tricked you too?'

'yeah! and they took my bey-blade, so i ran off and ended up here!' 

and just like that, all of his self hyped motivation was lost. gordon immediately wanted to lay back down and let blood loss take him into an eternal slumber.

**Author's Note:**

> im sick of looking at this and i didnt mean for it to get so long but thems the breaks.  
> im thinking of doing something where everyone comforts gordon in some way. i finally got my motivation back, so i might as well use it while its here.  
> thank you for reading, and have a nice night.


End file.
